taste the rainbow.

spirit team field trips can only mean...

Skittle Bowling!! and i actually won!! hahaha surprising in know..
Ami definitely has the award for best moves though!!

you know.. being real mature (:

placing this in the window of the bus..

we took it off when we saw the missionaries though.. 

also, if you think this is funny.. you're bound to actually see a naked man, because we did. super sketch. people should learn to not drive in their bathrobe, and leave it undone.

"i never wanna see a naked man again.."-mulan

thanks for the laughs Ami, Kali, Kellee, and Jalynn!!

Sweater Swing

Max and me 

half the group. (the cooler half.. obviously)

the group as a whole. 

Sweater Swing was a party. thanks for being my date Max! and thanks to the best group (: 

a place in this world? or maybe just the high school..

have you ever felt like you're trying so hard to fit in? well i'm sure everyone has felt that way. but have you ever felt like you're trying to fit in with your close friends? the close friends that you can slowly see drifting away from you? this is about where i am in life. i don't know why. but i am. slowly one by one this year my friends have found bigger and better things. that being a boyfriend, a group of cooler kids to hang out with, or moving up the totem pole. somehow i got lost in the shuffle. school is a battle. i have plenty of friends. i've actually made new friends too. but, i don't have a group of friends. i'm in this awkward limbo where you don't have an automatic in (to any of the groups of people you talk to). it's that awkwardness when you don't know if you're invited or not. so should you just show up? or should you ask if you can come? or do you just awkwardly stand there and see if they'll invite you? i honestly hate it. so then i ask myself. "Why are you trying so hard to fit in? why are you chasing something that you can't catch up to?"then my reply to myself is. "even though you've been hurt, betrayed, and let down. you can't give up on friendships that mean the world to you. and you're not a quitter. and holding a grudge never helped anyone" so even if every day at school is a struggle for me to be the exciting friend i once was. i'm going to keep trying my best. and things will get better.

on my mind.

• may 29th cannot come fast enough. i want to graduate so bad. i am done with high school. i find that it, and most the people there irritate me. a lot.  i had it all in my head that senior year was going to be amazing. i thought it was going to be how it was for all my senior friends. they made it look like a party. well it's not at all how i imagined it to be. and i'm more than ready for the next chapter in my life. and heading into this next chapter of life, means getting a job. wahoo... i guess.. but i'm going job hunting today. should be interesting. and i hope it goes well. ha i don't even really need a job right now. i just feel like i need something to do with my life. all i do is homework, and clean. 
• boys are idiots. especially that one boy. obviously i'm just second best. it's not a big deal. i'm ready to start dating college boys. because i'm sick of the ones at high school that i've known forever. 
• not knowing how to talk to your friends about how they have hurt your feelings. so you just don't say anything. but then things just get awkward. really awkward. 
• sickness=hell. 

friends

i'm sorry i can't be the most exciting person around. i'm sorry i don't have the most friends. and i'm sorry i don't know all the people you know. but the friends i do have are genuine. i found out today some things about me that i never would have guessed people would think about me. like how one of my friends i've been friends with since activity days, was scared to talk to me in junior high, because she thought i was too cool for her. i've never felt like one of the cool kids in my life. and that my other friend who i've been friends with since activity days, was so excited when i asked her to start hanging out with my group of friends. because she felt she had no friends, and that i seemed so confidant and fun. i don't always feel confidant. actually i more than likely usually don't. but today, out of that group of friends from the 8th grade, she's the only one who's still a best friend. the others went their separate ways. my other friend has also told me, that when we were really awkward friends, our family's went to lake powell together, and she felt like i was so much better because i came down to breakfast wearing makeup. i honestly don't even remember wearing makeup.. i was in lake powell hahaa who wears make up? it kind of hit me that i touch peoples lives in ways i never imagined. what if i hadn't included my friend in our stupid teen living class in the ninth grade? would she still think i was way to cool? and that she wasn't good enough to be my friend? what if i never started hanging out with my other friend? would she still feel like she had no friends? what if i was the kind of person that was to good for anyone? and cared more what i looked like all the time (even in lake powell) to where i never would have become more than awkward acquaintances with my best friend? it blows my mind i've impacted these two friends so much. when i had no idea. 

but then i think.

well everyone that's walked into my life has impacted me. for good or bad.

and those people don't always stay. some do walk away. but the people that stay mean more than a few moments in the spotlight, then dating the boy on the football team, than being a part of the popular crowd, and anything else high school screams out at you THIS IS COOL. AND NOTHING ELSE IS.

high school is hard sometimes. especially when you don't have the right friends.

i'm forever grateful for my friends. 

believe me i could go on and on with the pictures. but maybe i'll save that for another day (:

where do you fit in?

why do people act one way around me. but are a complete different person around someone else? this gets annoying. please don't do this.
because then we just end up like this.

why do we have these cliques?

why is it so hard for people to branch out from their cliques?

why can't everyone just be accepting of one another??

it's simply because it's easier said than done.

it's easier to hate than to love.

but yet what is everyone seeking? L.O.V.E 

i find this ironic.

vented

is it bad to say i am sick of high school? that i entirely loath it? that i'm counting down the days until i graduate?  i'm ready to get out of this town. go somewhere no one knows me. have a fresh start. meet college boys. because the ones at high school aren't that great. be my own independent person. find out who i am.  maybe i'm just bitter. because my senior year isn't going the way i wanted it to. because a) i have no guy friends b) i don't get asked on dates c) i never hang out.. i clean and do homework. and when i do hang out.. we don't do anything.. but the whole.. what do you wanna do? thing. d) high school drama. need i say more. e) feeling like second best alllll the time. i could go on ranting and raving.. believe me. but i honestly don't think you guys want to hear it.. because i sure don't want to hear my self think it and/or write it. but you can't always pretend your okay. and you can't always be happy. and you can't always be mad. and you can't always be sad. i'm a human and i have mood swings.

story time.

i'd like to share with you a story. it'll be a story in pictures though. because i stink at writing. but these are some of my greatest memories in high school. and i feel like sharing them (:

dances

preference. 

this young lad was my date. 

And we epically fail at making gingerbread houses.

but the best part of this dance.
something most people don't know.
is i got a best friend.
and it's because she knew my date.
yeah he's the reason we started not being awkward friends. 

sweethearts

maybe not the funnest date. but i was just beginning to like a boy. (: (not the one in the picture)
and he was the first person who talked to me the whole day! (my date and group didn't talk to me.)
 he gave me a spectacular hug at the dance. and told me i was beautiful.
it was almost as if i was the damsel in distress and he was my prince charming.
and he rescued me. 

Sweater Swing

my date. 

we liked each other. and we had a doorstep scene (:
he kissed me in the spotlight on his porch with all my friends watching.
i really liked the time i spent with this boy.

Prom

we took our pictures at the temple.
you are all jealous. (:

my date. we had some good laughs.
and some awkward moments.
but it's okay. cause i got to wear my favorite dress. (:

your average days. 

acting like kids. (: 

going to the zoo with these kids (:

being spontaneous (: this was the greatest night. hahaa

cake fights. 

Trips 

ski trips (: 

we had some awesome moments during this trip.
involving crashing into trees.
and falling out of the ski lift. 

snowboarders are better by the way.

march madness baseball tournament it's a big deal!!

cruise (:

you might not get why all these events are some of my favorite memories. but i guess you just had to be there.