so little time.

i'm up to my eyeballs in homework. i have special needs prom tonight. and all my clothes are unclean. help? before stress overcomes me..

"pity" party?

 you might ask what is a "pity" party?

well it would just be a group of girls getting together the night of a high school dance, to do something fun. because in all honesty they're trying to not dwell on the fact that they didn't get asked. and that they aren't dressed up in a pretty dress. and dancing with a boy. or being where the whole student body is really.

sweethearts is next saturday. 

wanna know how many "pity" parties i have been invited to?

three. 

now i have to sit and decide if i should go to the vow, or watch pride and prejudice, or go out to eat. 

they all sound fun. 

but,

why do girls feel like we need to have "pity" parties? 

it's a concept i haven't fully grasped. 

why can't we just go out and have fun to have fun? 

why do we have to say. "hey have you been asked to sweethearts? cause if you haven't me and a bunch of other girls are going to watch chick flicks and eat junk food, wanna come?"

don't get me wrong i have nothing against these "pity" parties. really i don't.

i enjoy them. because it's nice to do something, instead of sit at home by yourself, wishing you where at the dance. 

i just want to know why they have to be "pity" parties. it sounds so... pathetic. 

can we just say we're having a girls night? or a night out on the town? something that doesn't make us sound so.... loserish...? 

but hey it's almost valentines day. and we're all in misery. 

p.s. i'm really sorry if you love valentines day. i don't mean to rant and rave on it. but i just don't like it. and if you like it. good for you. i won't think any less of you. (: so don't think less of me that i loath it. 

also...

is anyone even going to this dance? cause i personally only know three people who are... 

on my mind.

• may 29th cannot come fast enough. i want to graduate so bad. i am done with high school. i find that it, and most the people there irritate me. a lot.  i had it all in my head that senior year was going to be amazing. i thought it was going to be how it was for all my senior friends. they made it look like a party. well it's not at all how i imagined it to be. and i'm more than ready for the next chapter in my life. and heading into this next chapter of life, means getting a job. wahoo... i guess.. but i'm going job hunting today. should be interesting. and i hope it goes well. ha i don't even really need a job right now. i just feel like i need something to do with my life. all i do is homework, and clean. 
• boys are idiots. especially that one boy. obviously i'm just second best. it's not a big deal. i'm ready to start dating college boys. because i'm sick of the ones at high school that i've known forever. 
• not knowing how to talk to your friends about how they have hurt your feelings. so you just don't say anything. but then things just get awkward. really awkward. 
• sickness=hell. 

college..?

all of my friends say how much they can't wait to graduate high school and move on to college. they're ready to get far away from their family.

me on the other hand.. i'm scared to death of college. i'm scared of growing up,. 
am i the only one who's scared? cause i'm sorta feeling that way.
i don't know what i want to go into.
i don't know where i want to go.
and i love my parents. and i'm not sure if i'm ready to grow up.
and i've got seven months until i have to grow up.
six if you count when i turn 18.
i need to make these months count.

maybe you could help me out..

i need some help.. on things to put on my senior bucket list..