stress.

i think i might be under a bit of stress.

my eyebrows now lack some essential qualities. like. hmmm looking symmetrical. 

finding shoes for prom has turned into a mood rendering experience.. my heart is honestly set on heels. but i can't bring myself to wear them. because i can't bring myself to be taller than my date. but remember how my heart is set on them? that makes finding flats... nearly impossible. 

my mother may or may not have embarrassed me so much that the effect resulted in breaking down in tears. (i'm totally going to blame that on the fact that t.o.m. is visiting.)

i can't bring myself to log on to skyward, in fear of what i might find there. 

senior pictures? i have no idea where to do them. ideas? 

worrying that i'm going to die on ragnar because i never have time to run long runs. 

anyone have a stress reliever?

wow. really?

sometimes i wear grape juice.  all over my favorite clothes. it's lovely. 

this would be a result of three hours of sleep. yay...

baby.

i'm a bawl baby.
i can't even bare my testimony about special needs mutual, without sobbing.
good grief.
i'm so embarrassed.
and i now get to speak in sacrament meeting about it..
save me.

mortified?

mor-ti-fy |ˈmôrtəˌfī|

verb ( mortifies, mortifying, mortified ) [ with obj. ]

1 cause (someone) to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated: [ with obj. ] : she was mortified to see her wrinkles in the mirror | (as adj. mortifying) : she refused to accept this mortifying disgrace.

yes this is how i feel. 

and yes there is a story.

i'm at lunch. with my two best friends. mckinsey and tori. and well we were just strolling along, and i happen to notice a boy. we'll call him larry.. i guess.. anyway.. he happens to be standing a ways a way. and i say to kins and tori. "he is sooo cute..." and then things went down hill. the friends informed me that the boy i've been crushing on lately was.. well... standing a foot in front of me. he heard. gave me a weird look. and walked away. let's just say. if he didn't think i was a freak before. he does now. and it was the time i actually wasn't talking about him... cause usually i am... and he knows through the grapevine that i like him.. and now he just thinks i said he was cute almost to his face... great.. 

not very well thought through.

a little help here... i don't know how to talk to boys (especially this boy.. and well that's a problem....)

i'm a teenage girl. sometimes i don't do the smartest things. and my plans aren't always well thought through. and even when they are.. they usually don't turn out how they were supposed to anyway.. is it's almost like a no win situation. i wish life could just be like the movies. but nope. my life is just one big awkward embarrassing moment.

yeah if you haven't caught on. i did something last night. that i thought would be great. i doorbell ditched a pie on my guy friends porch. because well.. lately (the past year) we've been awkward friends. and we can't seem to get passed that. and me in my little mind decide hey this will be fun. and it will make it not be so awkward anymore.

yeah now it's more awkward.

good one bre.

why can't i ever do anything right when i'm around this guy?
i always mess up. say the wrong thing. and he always catches me doing the weirdest things.

yeah i struggle..

sometimes my friends mock me... (brayden)
because i gag on my ibuprofen... hahaa you try swallowing it with no water..

i swear this kid always catches me at my most awkward moments... hahaa

lalalala whatever. lalalala it doesn't matter (:

just great..

so a cute boy who i haven't talked to in...well...forever... talked to me today.
it was kind of awkward.
knowing we used to be pretty good friends. and now we aren't.
and knowing that i used to swoon over the guy.. hahaa
but hey. it was a nice little chat.
once we got past some of the awkwardness.. and that awkward hand shake... and that awkward hug.. hahaa
and i'm not gonna lie.
i quite enjoyed talking to him.
i might have to talk to him a bit more.. (: just saying.

but here's the deal.
i get home after talking to this boy.
and i look in the mirror.
and i realize my face is totally pealing. and it looks bad.
i'm mortified!!
he probably thinks i have a disease..
great.. just great..