i'm in love.

it happened to be one of those nights. the nights when all your friends are busy. and your family is irritating you. so you go downstairs to watch a movie. picking a movie at my house is a long process. but i finally decided on one i've been meaning to see for a long time.

i am in LOVE with this movie!! and yes it made me cry  no sob!! if you have not seen this movie. go watch it. as soon as possible. because it currently rates as my favorite movie. 

soap opera sunday.

sunday is now soap opera sunday. this will consist of me telling you crazy, awkward, and spontaneous stories of my life.

so here's to the first story..

i'm on my period..

i was sitting in a stuffy class room, that was over flowing with people. in fact there was so many people, katie and i didn't even have desks. we had to sit in the back of the classroom on chairs, next to the skeleton, and other body sculptures they used in the medical anatomy class. It was fourth period, and i was antsy. i was more than ready to go home. had it really only been 2 minutes since i last looked at the clock?? i was in for a long class period. but it's ASL, this is expected. my teacher announced we would be taking a quiz. i don't know why he did. we take one in that class every day. but i pulled out my notebook and pencil, and sat staring at the clock waiting to begin. the class was louder than usual, and i noticed the people in that class were irritating me more than usual. suddenly i'd forgotten i was taking a quiz, as i became as sweaty as a popsicle looks in the middle of summer. a wave of nausea came over me. and the worst of it.. my uterus felt like it was going to blow up into a million pieces. i was going to die. or so i thought. i had to get to the bathroom. there was no way i was going to puke in front of all these people. so i turned to katie and said i was going to throw up. and i stood and ran out of the classroom. in the hall way my senses started to go numb. and i made it about ten feet out of my classroom, when i knew it was game over. i've passed out before. so when i started losing my senses, and i started to slowly black out. i knew what was coming. i have no idea how long i was passed out for. but i don't think it was very long. cause when i've passed out before it's never for a long time. but anyways.. as i started to come back to my senses, i noticed i was breathing really irregularly. which is normal after i've passed out. i also noticed i was pooling in my sticky sweat. the next thing i realized was. my face. yes my face. was on the floor of my high school hallway.. i let out an unpleasant moan and rolled on my back as fast as i could, thinking of all the germs and possible std's.. i was just smothering my face with. this was when i realized. i was not the only one occupying the hall. i look over to see a boy. not to mention a very attractive boy. he was standing about ten feet from me. he was looking bewildered at me with his head cocked to a slight angle.

to be continued

the final countdown.

i have so many things i've been looking forward too.. that are finally practically here.

in 4 days i will graduate from high school.

in 6 days i will be off to lake powell. (: 

and i could possibly be living in logan in 2-3 weeks.

so here's to the final countdown!! 

blissful thinking.

lately life is bliss. and i find i can't help but smile. (:

boy

music

kisses

friends

new car

cuddling 

laughter 

pinterest

painting

snow cones

asl? OVER

julian smith videos 

journal is up to date

one more day of high school

googling what to do when bored

photo attack.

 after 4 years of pushing myself to go to seminary, and doing more make up work than i should have had to do. I GRADUATED!!

 during seminary graduation.. we learned my brother can't be left alone. because we return home noticing my dog has an attempted mullet..

 i found out what it's like to be a muscle man. yay dry suits!

boating season here i come!!!

 finally my senior pictures were taken.. after months of asking for them.

and yes i got heels. and yes.. it makes me almost as tall as my dad. and i'm not going to say how tall that is... but i love them.








so that's pretty much my life as of late.

just a little something for the pain.

just a little something for the pain

no i'm not color blind, i know the world is black and white

well everybody hurts, that's where we're all the same.

it's nine o'clock on a saturday

he keeps me up after late phone calls

when you call he doesn't answer

you tied off your arms with only pretty charms

if i were you i'd be taking it easy

dance all night play all day

you held my hand and walked me home

left everything behind i ever knew

when sky blue gets dark enough

well, you went uptown ridin' in your limousine 

here's your letter.

i wonder how i ever made it through a day

he's got tattoos and piercings 

all the waiters in your grand cafe 

on the other side of the street in knew

easy come easy go, that's just how you live

you my friend 

i took a chance, i took a shot

we had never known about the days to come

it sure looks like this love is winding  down

hermit crabs in colored shells

alone in this house again tonight

i've been thinking about you and how we used to be

forever could never be long enough for me

don't shut me out

obviously i'm in a little pain.. caused by wrecking my car, and having a four wheeler mishap. so i thought i'd just lay in bed and write a poem by putting my ipod on shuffle and typing the first line of each song.

i don't know why i love doing this. but i do. and it surprises me every time how it actually can mesh and fit together even with the most random songs. 

close call.

i wrecked my car today. it was awful. 

.

my heart is broken. but not in a way it's been broke before. i'm not even really sure i can explain it. but i'm going to try. because i need to vent about it. i can't let it weigh down on me anymore. i broke one of my best friends hearts. and in the process of breaking his. mine was broken. (not that i have a right to even be sad about this.. after all it is my fault..)  it could have been those small things you said to me that caused me to choke on tears, wondering why? why on earth you'd say that. after all we'd been through. or it could have been the fact that when i saw you at school for the first time since we'd ended things, that i still got that giddy flip flop feeling when i saw you. only to have it wrenched from me, like a bully stealing candy from a small toddler. because i realized, you didn't want to talk to me.. i thank you for being polite and at least saying hi to me. and showing me your awful sunburn. i am so grateful for that small tender mercy you gave me. maybe it's just killing me, because i thought i was okay. but in all reality.. i'm not.. i've been an emotional wreck today. crying on and off. realizing i've lost one of my very best friends. and knowing it's my fault. 

drama.

i didn't ask for this to happen. 

it just.

did.

bored?

i don't know about you, but these are the largest grapes i've ever laid my eyes on.

they are bigger than my eyes... that's awkward.

happy thursday (:

stress.

i think i might be under a bit of stress.

my eyebrows now lack some essential qualities. like. hmmm looking symmetrical. 

finding shoes for prom has turned into a mood rendering experience.. my heart is honestly set on heels. but i can't bring myself to wear them. because i can't bring myself to be taller than my date. but remember how my heart is set on them? that makes finding flats... nearly impossible. 

my mother may or may not have embarrassed me so much that the effect resulted in breaking down in tears. (i'm totally going to blame that on the fact that t.o.m. is visiting.)

i can't bring myself to log on to skyward, in fear of what i might find there. 

senior pictures? i have no idea where to do them. ideas? 

worrying that i'm going to die on ragnar because i never have time to run long runs. 

anyone have a stress reliever?