a sigh of relief. for now.

finding that i can be brave, and write him a letter. finally telling him the feelings i've kept to myself, the journal, and this blog.

it felt good to be completely honest.

it also didn't feel so good to know i might have demolished our friendship. because i pretty much told him i love him. in sort of a round about way. not even really using the words i love you. but you can tell that's what i ment.

i'll keep you posted on what happens next with this boy.

for now, i'm gonna celebrate the fact that i actually had the guts to put that envelope in the mailbox. 

gone trekin.

for something i entirely loathed four years ago, and refused to never do again. i was astonished at how much fun i had on trek. in fact it might be my second favorite thing i've done this summer.

i especially loved my family. they were amazing and we had a blast together. our experiences on trek consisted of..sitting on a school bus for 6 hours.. and we walked...and walked...and waited...and walked...and walked...and walked...and waited...and walked...and walked...and hydrated...maybe urinated (had to GO)...and walked...and walked...and walked...and pushed...BAGER HOLE!!! and pulled...and walked...and walked...and got rabies...and walked...and walked... and walked...and slept??? and walked...and walked... and walked... and blistered...and walked...and bled... and laughed...and cried...and walked... and screamed...and walked... and tents collapsed...and walked...and "iv"ed... and walked... and walked...and got wet...and walked... and ate...and walked... and got dehydrated...and "half-wayed"...and walked... and walked... and walked... and star tripped...and walked... at least we're not dead... yet. 

i love you anderson family! and our adventures (: thanks for helping me see that i can do hard things. and that i also don't have to do hard things alone.

made it.

I survived my first day in Logan. And it wasn't completely terrible. It mainly consisted of,
-Having a job interview. (even though I'm hoping they don't hire me. I'd rather work somewhere else. is that bad?)
-Becoming an official employee of the Buckle. (I'm excited!)
-Spending a lot of time wondering what to do with myself, because I don't know anyone.
-Hanging out with my aunt and uncle.
-Going to my cousins baseball game.
-Making a walmart trip at 10:30 because I always forget something. (you'd be so proud, I found my way to walmart, and all the way back to Mendon with out my dear tomtom. this my friends is accomplishment!)

cold mountain.

i think i might really like this book. a lot. that brings my total of books i've loved in ap english to three. 

being catch 22, wuthering heights, and now cold mountain. 

one year.

it's been a year. exactly. and i am now positive that i can say i'm over you, and actually mean it. don't get me wrong, i'll still smile when i think back on the time we spent together. i'll still laugh at our inside jokes. and i'll still think of you as a friend. you just don't have a hold of me anymore. i'm free. and it feels wonderful.

hey look!

i'm in (:
i'm gonna be an aggie!!

now what?

it's a miracle! i don't have homework.

 but the thing is.

now i don't know what to do with myself.

and yes 5:30 a.m. runs and i.. we are back in business. i love it (: 

and even better. i never have to go to embly's class again!!! 

i hurt... EVERYWHERE

this weekend i...
- hiked a half marathon
- learned how to pee in the wild
- learned how to change a tampon in the wild
- never been so cold in my life
- or shivered so much in my life
- repelled down some rocks.
- climbed down a waterfall
- cannon balled off a ledge into a pool of water infested with logs.
- swam, walked, and waded through ice cold water.
- me and annika were always the caboose
- got sick the night before this extravaganza. so lets just say my cold got worse times ten.
- ate wendys at 11:00 at night. that's gross.
- i think my leaders thought i was going to get hypothermia. because they told me multiple times. "bre! keep moving your arms!!"
-  at the last miles thought i wasn't going to make it. because i was so cold, tired, and hungry. and my body hurt so bad that it felt like my legs were 10 pounds every time i took a step.
- i saw my friends struggle and they saw me struggle.
- i saw my friends triumph and they saw me triumph.
- i all in all had a good time. and it was a blast!

i will share some pictures with you soon.