happy halloween (:

here's you some holiday spirit (: zebbie as Helga G. Pataki. and me as mulan (not a geisha..)

hope you've all had a lot of tricks and treats (:

nightmare before christmas

first of all i adore this movie (: ask grandma! she'll tell you about how every time i went to stay at her house as a kid, she'd let me watch a movie before bed. and it was always this movie! and yes i'm a little sad that all the creeper kids wear jack on there clothes, and what not. because it almost  ruins the movie for me. but that's not really the point.

seeing as it's halloween tomorrow.. i thought i'd mix it up a bit. and share with you my christmas list.




1. a pet iguana  2. and vintage styled clothes, shoes, and accessories.

that is all (:

so have a happy halloween folks (:

and if you come by trick-or-treating to my humble abode. you will find i'm playing this song.

ohh and i'm dressing up as mulan (: i'll sare a picture soon (:

hmm it's saturday..

i have a couple options
 -stake dance
-birthday party.
-or something else.

he texted me asking me what i was doing tonight. so i'm thinking he's gonna ask me to hang out!! so i get all dolled up.

and i haven't felt this pretty in awhile..
(i look better in real life...the pictures aren't that great..)

but then he doesn't even text me back.. loser.

so i got all dolled up for nothing...







so therefore it's either birthday party.. (where i wont know anyone..)
or stake dance (where i'll have to get un-dolled up. and put on  a costume and go dance with 14 year olds)
or drive up to grandmas house, to get zebbies costume ( sounds pretty anti-social if you ask me.,)

what i'm getting at, is i'm annoyed with this boy, he got my hopes up. and now here i am not knowing what to do with my saturday night.

sooo..guess what

HE KNOWS WHO I AM!!!!! 


but who's making it a big deal?? (:

Heartache

How do I explain it. When I don't know what to say?

now what?

i don't know what to do with myself.  i don't have any homework.. it's a miracle

someone should call me up and we'll play (:

complicated..?

well folks remember those stories.. it's been so long since i've blogged that i can't even remember them. all i have to say is i hate the end of term. so much. it's full of cramming all that last minute work in, to bump up the grade. and there is also the mountain of projects that are all due like on the same day. (i swear the teachers conspire with each other...) and with all this stress it results in 1. i'm breaking out bad! i hate acne 2. my room is a disaster because i don't have time to clean it. and when i do have time i take a nap instead. (i can't function when my room is a mess. so if i seem a bit edgy and off that would be why. 3. i am lacking sleep. i need the weekend. pronto. good thing it's wendnesday..  two more days.


but to make things more complicated..

remember this boy well as of lately i find myself wanting him to notice me. and i quite enjoy talking to him in class when we laugh about our funny memories.. and sometimes i go to visit him. and i get butterflies, and my knees shake.

do i really want to feel this way? after what happend the last time? all my friends hate him. i hated him up until like this week. does he deserve a second chance?? is this even going anywhere or am i over analyzing the situation...?

i don't want to deal with this right now. i was finally finding this other boy but he has no idea who i even am.. and i'm to scared to talk to him..

do i pass up an opportunity with one boy. to have a higher chance with a boy that has no idea i even exist.

i am over analyzing i'm sure.. but this is everything going through my brain.. as of this week..

sorry if i sound scatterbrained.. i just am.. give me a break. i'm riding a roller coaster of emotions.. it's fine.

it's coming

just you wait. i have stories.

Awkward could be my middle name.

wedding. prom. old ladies..? we got it covered

we dress up. get over it. (:

jealous..?

jealous is a feeling i feel a lot. i'm constantly comparing myself to others.

i want so badly to be vibrant, outgoing, different, and fun.

but sometimes i feel invisible. and people talk for me. and i'm just another face in the crowd.

i want just for once to stand out. and have the spot light on me.

i wish i wasn't scared to speak out. and make new friends.

i wish i knew how to talk to boys, instead of freaking out and stumbling over what to say every time i try.

sometimes it would be nice if i wasn't always that awkward third wheel.

i want to be one of those people who is friends with everyone. but it's hard when no one knows who i am.

it's weird to think that i know who so many people are, but they don't know me.

i don't like this jealousy. it puts a damper on my days.

if i ask nicely will it go away?

my answer is as good as yours... i have no idea.

so i guess i'll keep pushing through and hopefully one day.. it'll slowly subside.

and i'll find who i really am.

is this to much to ask?

 

long pause... no answer

sometimes it's your closest friends that can let you down. sometimes it's the ones you love the most that you aren't very nice to. sometimes the boy you like doesn't know you exist. sometimes you get annoyed. and sometimes you annoy.

sometimes people are people. and we can't let those bad moments we see in them get us down.

because

sometimes it's your closest friends that bring out the best in you. sometimes it's the ones you love the most that are there for you no matter what. sometimes if you keep trying that boy you like might know who you are eventually. and sometimes you aren't annoyed. and sometimes you don't annoy.

people are people.

i hurt... EVERYWHERE

this weekend i...
- hiked a half marathon
- learned how to pee in the wild
- learned how to change a tampon in the wild
- never been so cold in my life
- or shivered so much in my life
- repelled down some rocks.
- climbed down a waterfall
- cannon balled off a ledge into a pool of water infested with logs.
- swam, walked, and waded through ice cold water.
- me and annika were always the caboose
- got sick the night before this extravaganza. so lets just say my cold got worse times ten.
- ate wendys at 11:00 at night. that's gross.
- i think my leaders thought i was going to get hypothermia. because they told me multiple times. "bre! keep moving your arms!!"
-  at the last miles thought i wasn't going to make it. because i was so cold, tired, and hungry. and my body hurt so bad that it felt like my legs were 10 pounds every time i took a step.
- i saw my friends struggle and they saw me struggle.
- i saw my friends triumph and they saw me triumph.
- i all in all had a good time. and it was a blast!

i will share some pictures with you soon.

i am so... what?

i friend said to me yesterday

"you are always so..." 

then he walked away.. 

i would really like to know what he was going to say.

it's making me crazy that i don't know.

7x7=49 49+7=56

so last post i said i wanted to be tagged. so i could join in on this whole 7 random things.. just so i wasn't the only one not posting about this. so madi tagged me. but she tagged me 7 times. so that means 49 random facts about me. ohh but then erin also tagged me so that would be 7 more.. totaling in 56 random facts.
now i just need to see if i can think of any good ones.. hahaa

1. i have chocolatey brown eyes 2. i should be doing homework right now. but instead i'm blogging. (this happens a lot...) 3. i am a water bender  4. i drive a little nissan sentra it's red. and his name is Sullivan. 5. i have a very deep love for harry potter. VERY DEEP.  6. i like to run. no i LOVE to run.   7. construction cone orange happens to be my favorite color.  8. even though i'm tall without heels i still wear them. they give me confidence. i love em  9. i have an irrational fear of pain.  10. i've been know to pass out, hyperventilate, and have panic attacks because of this irrational fear of pain.  11. i'm known to quote movies. a lot.  12. if you opened my closet. you would find a mountain of shoes. and that my shirts are organized into the color of the rainbow.  13. i desperately want a pet iguana. but my parents refuse to get me one.  14. i absolutely love to people watch. 15. people have told me i know the lyrics to every song. (this is an exaggeration my friends. there are too many songs in the world. i don't know them all. however i do know a lot..) 16. lake powell is my heaven on earth. 17. english has a very good chance at being my favorite subject.  18. i have finished 9 journals. and in seven more pages. i will have finished 10.  19. i really want to be a modle but my parents won't let me. (they think i'll go anorexic and what not.)  20. i go on quilting retreats where i am the only young person there. (so yeah i hang out with a bunch of old ladies.. but hey it's like my favorite trip. (: )  21. i find cleaning strangely relaxing  22. when i was little. i insisted on having cocktail shrimp and spagetti for my birthday dinner. and i refused to have cake. it had to be pumpkin pie.  23. speaking of pumpkin. and being little. i used to spend quite some time with my friend katie. and her mom makes the most delicious pumpkin cookies! and i remember stealing them when katie wasn't watching. hahaaa also one year katie had her mom make me a whole platter of them for my birthday. (:  24. also i just thought of this.. the song lyin' eyes by the eagles. when i was a kid i used to think they were singing about a girl that had the eyes of a lion. like the animal. still to this day i can't listen to that song without picturing a girl with lion eyes. 25. i'm asking for a gps that talks for christmas cause i always seem to get lost. 26. give me any excuse to dress up. i will take it. and i'll most likely take it to the extreme.  27. i like to chill in my snuggie. i also drive to school wearing it when it's cold. 28. i love writing and receiving letters. it's classy  29. I LOVE TO WAKE SURF 30. i attempt to snowboard. (i sometimes knock fences over... this is true) 31. i have been to 9 countries outside of the united states.  32. i love my family and friends 33. i had to attend attendance school for the first time my whole high school career this week. 34. i struggle sometimes.. i can be blonde. even though my hair appears to be very very dark brown.. 35. cows are my favorite animal. (it's a long story) 36. i bring my nikon everywhere.  37. my dad just told me i was scared of fish when i was little... hahaa 38. i take voice lessons. that doesn't mean that i can sing.. 39. one time i ate a fisheye it was slimy  40. i'm a bit obsessive over writing everything in my calendar/planner  41. my phone is insured  42. my first kiss is probably in my top ten most embarrassing moments.  43. i don't have a middle name. but i claim it to be fae  44. my favorite number is 123  45. les mis is my favorite play. i've seen it 8 times.  46. i do not understand a single thing in football. 47. i was a dancer for 8 years. and i secretly miss it a lot.  48. my favorite song at the moment is set fire to the rain by adele  49. i want to be a wedding photographer when i grow up.  50. joseph gordon leviett is my celebrity crush  51. i hate math more than any other subject.  52. i think i might go to utah state for college   53. i need to learn to go to bed earlier on school nights.  54. sunshine. no clouds. no wind. hot. glassy lake. = perfect weather  55. i aspire to be the funnest grandma ever. because my grandma is my hero.  56. my favorite snack is crackers or toast with a spread of cream cheese. and topped with sliced tomatos

there i did it. i'm sure none of you even read them all. and if you did.. good for you. hahaa

now you go. but you only have to do 7. cause i wont tag you 8 times (:
lindsey, kinsey, katie

7

i kinda wanna be tagged.. hahaa

if life were a movie

sometimes i compair this movie to my life.

sometimes there is a boy in my life. that is a bit like terry... they are similar in some ways.

and well i need an austin ames in my life

i haven't found him yet. but i will (:

you make my dreams (:

i'm in a good mood today (: a very good mood. and it may or may not be because of a boy.. okay it is.

past. and. present.

past:
there used to be this boy i was quite smitten over. he lived across the street from me. and yes he was or i guess is my young woman leaders son. don't worry we came up with a code name so she wouldn't know i was in love with him. it was dartanion. don't ask why. it just was okay. well anyways. dartanion had a girl friend. or still does for all i know. her code name was butterfly. i'm not sure why.. i think it's cause my friend kylee said she looked like one. but that's not really the point. so i had spent a couple months secretly. actually not so secretly swooning over dartanion. and i decided i wanted to take him to morp. but remember my problem? yep butterfly. my friends told me i should ask him anyways. they don't take no for an answer. so i ask him. and obviously the girl friend makes him tell me no. so then i asked this other kid. but that's a another story. anyway. i kinda creepily would watch them from my window across the street. and i saw some pretty sketchy things. and that's where my crush ended. and then he graduated. moved out. and i haven't seen him since. and hadn't put much thought into it.

present:
i had a presidency meeting today. and so i walk across the street to my young woman leaders house. and i get to the door. and they motion me in. (there was a glass door so they could see me..) so i walk in. and there is a boy standing with his back to me. of course i just assumed it was his younger brother. and i almost even said hey _____ (i couldn't think of a code name for the brother.. sorry) then he turns around. and yep it's the old crush. i was taken by surprise.. i'd forgotten how cute he was. and i had butterflies. and i'm pretty sure i blushed as i said an awkward hey! and he totally noticed.. and i think his mom did too. hahaa i couldn't really focus the rest of the meeting. i was too into thought over dartanion... (it didn't help that he walked in the room like twice...)


yeah.. didn't see that one coming..

....

i think i might go private.

dreaming

ever been really flattered a boy thought of you.
and then you found out who the boy was, and you might have been a bit disappointed.

story of my life

week[end]

plans for the weekend.

- watch movies
- drink hot chocolate
- snuggle in my snuggie
- watch more movies
- when or if friends call me up. i'll make them come join me for my movie extravaganza. cause i'm not leaving my house.
- junk food...?
- 30 day shred
- more yet even more movies
- sleeping in
- naps
- blogging
-facebook stalking
- and... yes more movies.
-more random work out videos.. (i'm getting fat... and that's not okay..)


anyone wanna join?? cause you're more than welcome. (:

college..?

all of my friends say how much they can't wait to graduate high school and move on to college. they're ready to get far away from their family.

me on the other hand.. i'm scared to death of college. i'm scared of growing up,. 
am i the only one who's scared? cause i'm sorta feeling that way.
i don't know what i want to go into.
i don't know where i want to go.
and i love my parents. and i'm not sure if i'm ready to grow up.
and i've got seven months until i have to grow up.
six if you count when i turn 18.
i need to make these months count.

laugh with me.

i got lotion in my eye.. now i can't see. yeah that's cool.

kite fllying

i want to fly a kite.. random i know.

i'm in "like" (:

i'm in "like" with this boy... (: mmm he's dreamy. he should probably ask me on a date! cause i'm quite smitten over him (: just saying. i like him quite a lot if you didn't notice. my goal? get his number by the weekend (: sound good? i think so!

successful weekend? i think yes (:

friday night extravaganza. football game with jaylyn and tori. 

friday night continued.. ice cream at macys  

frysause drawings at purple turtle with kinsey and tori.

driving around being spontaneous with kins and tori (:

saturday: easily entertained obviously..

then we had a girls night pizza party while the men were at priesthood.
ambria and her pizza

zebbie and her pizza

hannah and her pizza

lexi and her pizza

max and his pizza. poor kid that only has one boy cousin..
and he was at priesthood. 

gracee and her pizza

mckinnah and her pizza

me and my delicious cheesy crust pizza (: mmm 

heather and her pizza

sarah and her breadstick (: hahaa

sarah and her pizza 

mom and her pizza