i hate it,

when all your friends blow you off. 

vent.

I'm itching to tell people my stories. But it's hard to when I get verbally attacked before I can even begin. Maybe I wasn't even gonna tell them all the details. I just wanted to tell them the funny part, about how I ended up getting locked out of my house. But you know, I guess it's whatever. I guess I can tell my journal, and my dog, and I guess my imaginary friend. Cause I personally think it's a great story.  And people need to lighten up, and not judge so quickly. Especially if they don't even really know the person. And maybe, just maybe. if they had let me tell the story. they'd have a different opinion about him. But I guess that's just an idea. 

ohh the joys of looking like a hippo.

i'm sick of soft food. i don't know if i'll be able to stomach anymore apple sause, pudding, mashed potatoes, and jello. i'm dying to have real food. my face hurts. all i've done the past three days is lay in bed. i got mad at him.. and i shouldn't have. and i find i miss him a lot. i'm finding i'm scared to start my new job and move to logan on sunday. i don't want to be lonely up there. and i'm going to miss my friends terribly. i'm needing a trip out of the house. i need to do something active.

this wisdom teeth business sucks. and it's put me in a terrible mood.

a lack of inspiration.

i'm having a major writers block lately. it's irritating me. 

on my mind.

• may 29th cannot come fast enough. i want to graduate so bad. i am done with high school. i find that it, and most the people there irritate me. a lot.  i had it all in my head that senior year was going to be amazing. i thought it was going to be how it was for all my senior friends. they made it look like a party. well it's not at all how i imagined it to be. and i'm more than ready for the next chapter in my life. and heading into this next chapter of life, means getting a job. wahoo... i guess.. but i'm going job hunting today. should be interesting. and i hope it goes well. ha i don't even really need a job right now. i just feel like i need something to do with my life. all i do is homework, and clean. 
• boys are idiots. especially that one boy. obviously i'm just second best. it's not a big deal. i'm ready to start dating college boys. because i'm sick of the ones at high school that i've known forever. 
• not knowing how to talk to your friends about how they have hurt your feelings. so you just don't say anything. but then things just get awkward. really awkward. 
• sickness=hell. 

to: father

dear father,
i was very heartbroken when i came home from lunch to make myself a smoothie, only to find the blendtec was missing. because why? you took it to work. i would like you to know this is not at all okay.

love,
breanna

speak

once again, i have a voice. let me use it. okay? thanks.

where do you fit in?

why do people act one way around me. but are a complete different person around someone else? this gets annoying. please don't do this.
because then we just end up like this.

why do we have these cliques?

why is it so hard for people to branch out from their cliques?

why can't everyone just be accepting of one another??

it's simply because it's easier said than done.

it's easier to hate than to love.

but yet what is everyone seeking? L.O.V.E 

i find this ironic.

don't speak for me. i have a voice. and it wants to be heard.






p.s. i applied to college today.. i'm scared out of my mind.

annoyed? yeah a bit.

i wish people would stop telling me i need to just go up and talk to him. because obviously it's more complicated than that. and they just don't understand.

hmm it's saturday..

i have a couple options
 -stake dance
-birthday party.
-or something else.

he texted me asking me what i was doing tonight. so i'm thinking he's gonna ask me to hang out!! so i get all dolled up.

and i haven't felt this pretty in awhile..
(i look better in real life...the pictures aren't that great..)

but then he doesn't even text me back.. loser.

so i got all dolled up for nothing...







so therefore it's either birthday party.. (where i wont know anyone..)
or stake dance (where i'll have to get un-dolled up. and put on  a costume and go dance with 14 year olds)
or drive up to grandmas house, to get zebbies costume ( sounds pretty anti-social if you ask me.,)

what i'm getting at, is i'm annoyed with this boy, he got my hopes up. and now here i am not knowing what to do with my saturday night.

i am so... what?

i friend said to me yesterday

"you are always so..." 

then he walked away.. 

i would really like to know what he was going to say.

it's making me crazy that i don't know.

annoyed

i'm annoyed with people. so i'm sorry if i've been a brat to you recently. i just need to let go of some things. because i'm quite sick of being annoyed.