have you ever felt like you're trying so hard to fit in? well i'm sure everyone has felt that way. but have you ever felt like you're trying to fit in with your close friends? the close friends that you can slowly see drifting away from you? this is about where i am in life. i don't know why. but i am. slowly one by one this year my friends have found bigger and better things. that being a boyfriend, a group of cooler kids to hang out with, or moving up the totem pole. somehow i got lost in the shuffle. school is a battle. i have plenty of friends. i've actually made new friends too. but, i don't have a group of friends. i'm in this awkward limbo where you don't have an automatic in (to any of the groups of people you talk to). it's that awkwardness when you don't know if you're invited or not. so should you just show up? or should you ask if you can come? or do you just awkwardly stand there and see if they'll invite you? i honestly hate it. so then i ask myself. "Why are you trying so hard to fit in? why are you chasing something that you can't catch up to?"then my reply to myself is. "even though you've been hurt, betrayed, and let down. you can't give up on friendships that mean the world to you. and you're not a quitter. and holding a grudge never helped anyone" so even if every day at school is a struggle for me to be the exciting friend i once was. i'm going to keep trying my best. and things will get better.
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