teach me will you?

can someone please explain to me this sport...football.
because my dearest best friend told me the other day that i'm not "sport smart..." whatever that means.
and well that's just not sitting well with me.

so someone should teach me.
cause i don't know what the quarterback does. for all i know he picks up quarters and sticks them to his back.
and fumble?? what in the world is that...?
and why to they hike the ball?? why can't they walk, run, or just sit the ball? i don't get it..
and is a touchdown the same thing as an endzone?? or are they two different things. that happent to take place in the same area of the field?


yeah kinsey was right.. i'm definitely not "sport smart"

i need some help.. anyone up for the job?? cause imma need a really, really, really good tutor.. hahaa