ohh the joys of looking like a hippo.

i'm sick of soft food. i don't know if i'll be able to stomach anymore apple sause, pudding, mashed potatoes, and jello. i'm dying to have real food. my face hurts. all i've done the past three days is lay in bed. i got mad at him.. and i shouldn't have. and i find i miss him a lot. i'm finding i'm scared to start my new job and move to logan on sunday. i don't want to be lonely up there. and i'm going to miss my friends terribly. i'm needing a trip out of the house. i need to do something active.

this wisdom teeth business sucks. and it's put me in a terrible mood.

so little time.

i'm up to my eyeballs in homework. i have special needs prom tonight. and all my clothes are unclean. help? before stress overcomes me..

.

there's an awful feeling that hits your gut, when you're let down.
especially when it's your closest friends that let you down.

but i will be fine.

i'm going to move on. and smile. even when i don't want to.
because life just seems better with a smile.

it's a thursday.

do you know what thursday means?

• wearing my ski clothes.
• letting my hair hang like a dead thing on my cheeks 
• not listening in any of my classes, because i don't care anymore.
• going to chubby's with kellee, and austin.
• not caring enough to go change my shirt, even though it's covered in chalk.

but do you know what's great about thursday today?

IT'S LIKE MY FRIDAY! because i ain't going to school tomorrow. (: cause imma be in a fashion show. woot woot. (: win!  

weather.

i don't really like gloomy days like today. 

i feel claustrophobic.  almost as if i'm on the verge of suffocation..

i don't know why. 

it could be that i can't see the blue sky. 

or maybe it's because the sky feels closer than it usually does. like it's closing in on me... 

but then it could be that there is no color or vibrance anywhere. everything feels like that shade of gray.

all i'm saying is.. i hate this weather. 

i need some of this in my life..

 swim suits and tan lines.

 color. bright color.

 sandals,  and shorts.

 greeen grass (:

the heat of lake powell.
and water tramp. (:

 once again COLOR. (:

 blue sky (:

 glassy lakes (: with blue sky. (: LOVE.

surfing. 

i miss this.. so much.. 

since it isn't snowing.. can't we just skip to this?

 regret, he was right there. why didn't you go talk to him. no instead you just awkwardly wave? then when you try to find him again. he's no where to be found.

you really blew it kid.

it's to late noob. 

also.. it sucks when your friends let you down. 

vacation please?

get me out of pg.
away from the cold wintery days,
and the piles of homework waiting to be done.
and the dramas of high school.

take me to a place that's warm and sunny.

so i can lay on the beach and listen to the waves crash against the shore, and let the sun tickle my skin. forgetting the world i left behind. not having a care as to what that boy thinks of me. or worrying about if i fit in or not. or dwelling on hurtful things people have said to me. please take me there. i need to feel relaxed. and i wouldn't mind a tan either.











if only life was really that simple 

because you can't run away from the drama, the problems, the heartache, and the whatever else boils your blood. 

does it ever get easier? 

will people become nicer?

does the drama ever end?

if you answered yes to all these questions i'd be happy.

but i don't think that'll happen. 

because if life were easy it wouldn't be hard. and we wouldn't learn, and enjoy the blessings of learning.

not everyone is nice. and some people never change. it's a matter of deciding if you are going to be the kind of person who is kind, and christ like. or if you will choose to be in a sense a brat.

and the drama? the worst of all? people will continue to be offended at the most ridiculous things. so don't let it get to you. smile and move on. 

what are you thinking?

working out is bliss. that boy is attractive, but i find myself slowly giving up on him. quilting is a lovely hobby that makes me feel like an old woman. my room is a disaster, and needs a cleansing. new wardrobe is needed. inspiration with the camera is needed. (someone give me an assignment). nightmare before christmas needs to be watched. and i want michael buble's new christmas album, but can't buy it until after thanksgiving. because poor thanksgiving always gets skipped over by all the crazy christmas fanatics out there. millions of projects to get done for skull (aka school.. don't get the joke? then go watch winnie the pooh's grand adventure) but there is no desire to get them done, because they aren't due for a couple weeks. 

welcome to my life story as of today. 

now what?

i don't know what to do with myself.  i don't have any homework.. it's a miracle

someone should call me up and we'll play (:

week[end]

plans for the weekend.

- watch movies
- drink hot chocolate
- snuggle in my snuggie
- watch more movies
- when or if friends call me up. i'll make them come join me for my movie extravaganza. cause i'm not leaving my house.
- junk food...?
- 30 day shred
- more yet even more movies
- sleeping in
- naps
- blogging
-facebook stalking
- and... yes more movies.
-more random work out videos.. (i'm getting fat... and that's not okay..)


anyone wanna join?? cause you're more than welcome. (:

it's tuesday

- sister turned off my alarm.
- trying to stay awake in seminary
- coloring muscle diagrams in animal science
- reading a million essays in ap english
-lunch duty for spirit team
- creep kid flirting with me while on lunch duty
- jealousy over boys
- weird kids at school
- peer tutoring
- seeing man with a snake around his neck. (i almost had an aneurism)
- seeing him and getting butterflies.
- seeing the other him and getting butterflies.
- thinking to myself i like too many boys at the same time.
- chores
-homework
-babysitting