a complete epic fail.

have you ever wanted something?

have you ever really really wanted something?

have you ever thought you'd come so close to what you wanted?

but then at the last second the floor fell from underneath you..

good

your human.

and it's good to know i'm not the only one.

don't you just love.... LOVE?

being in high school one of my favorite subjects would be boys..

just saying what every other girl is thinking.

so in recent adventures i've watched Aquamarine.

yes that silly cheesy movie about a girl who's a mermaid and lives in a water tower.

but you know what it's better than the justin beiber movie.

but that's not the point i needed to make.

i was just realizing that it has some great points on how to deal with those men (:

like so...

1: casually walk by him laughing.

2: the fluff and retreat. ( just walk up give him a compliment. and get out of there)

3: call him ( but don't say anything. you just hang up.. and maybe scream.. then you are perfectly welcome to through your phone out the window.)

4: casually walk/ride bike/drive down his street ( not even remembering it was his street!!)

hahahaa

i encourage you all to give this a try!

cause i know i will (:

my only problem is i need to find a guy to be crushing on..

because i don't really know at the moment..

it's just too difficult to pick sometimes..

is it bad to have a crush on more than one guy??

probably not.

seeing i'm still in high school.

and it's not like any of them will notice me anyway.

a little spark of sunshine

 so my family got the boat out. (:

to bad it's all rainy. 

lame i know.

but don't worry. 

i will soon be in lake powell. (:

where it is not raining (:

and there is some sunshine!

and yes i will come back looking indian. 

just saying 

who cares if you disagree.. you are not me.

sara bareilles has inspired me.

i don't want people to tell me what i should be. and what i shouldn't.

it's my turn to decide 

and i pick that i choose. 

and i choose that i'm just going to be myself (:

easy enough. 

it's like forgetting the words to your favorite song.

sometimes i feel as if i'm moving at a 100 mph. 

i'm everywhere.

with school, homework, softball, voice lessons, being the taxi driver for my siblings, friends, dances, church, i mean the list could go on and on.

sometimes i need to take a breath. 

step back.

and relax for a bit.

yesterday my best friend and me, we took a step back.

we decided we needed a break.

we needed a day were we could just be lazy.

not really have to do anything.

not feel like we had to entertain a crowd.

we started out with a walk. 

i can't remember when the last time i went on a walk was. 

ever since i've had a licence i've just driven everywhere. 

it was so nice.

we enjoyed the weather. 

we talked about life.

and hey we burned a few calories (: 

that's always a bonus!

we then started a chick flick.

confessions of a shopaholic 

we love that movie.

but we had both had a long day.

we ended up just crashing on my couch. we were out. 

what i'm getting at here is...

it's perfectly fine to be going 100 mph.

but it's also perfectly fine to stop and take a deep breath and enjoy the words to your favorite song. 

like we used to....?

so i'm giving up on the topic a day i'm supposed to write about.

sorry

but it's boring..

the end

i'd just rather write what i'd like to write about.

just saying.

so anyways..

have you ever had a guy friend? 

good (: 

so have i.

you have fun with this friend right? 

good. 

i have fun with mine too.

so this friend. he's great.

yeah?

so is mine

you start to well possibly have feelings for him that maybe are more than a friend.

yeah..

that's how i felt about my guy friend too.

you started liking each other. am i right?

aww cute! (:

well that's how it happened with him and me too!

you had some great adventures right?

yeah

so did we.

let me guess. one day he told you he needed you and him to be just friends.

well..

that's what my guy friend said to me too.

you wanting nothing more than to have a friendship with this guy. said yes we can just be friends.

i thought so.

because that's what i told my guy friend too.

things with your friend started to be different. right?

yeah thought so.

cause that's what happened in my story too.

now you never talk.

you avoid each other in the hall ways at school.

you don't laugh about silly inside jokes you have.

you don't go on adventures anymore.

you are just two people in a sea of people

not taking time to swim over and say hi?

yeah me too.

you can't even really say your friends anymore.

yeah and when those opportune moments come along.

for you to try and patch some things up.

you just screw it all up.

and make yourself look like a fool.

story of my life

seems like high school 

ohh wait it is. 

no one's got it all

do you ever have to vent?

i do...

do you ever feel like things are changing and you don't want them to?

i do...

do you ever feel like that certain guy wont ever give you a chance?

i do...

do you ever just want to eat ice cream out of the carton?

i do...

do you ever just want the sun to come out?

i do...

do you ever feel let down? 

i do...

do you ever want to dance in the rain like no one is watching?

i do...

do you ever want to scream at the top of your lungs?

i do...

do you ever just want someone to see you for who you really are?

i do...

do you ever just want to be a kid again?

i do...

do you ever feel scared?

i do...

do you ever feel stress up to your eyeballs?

i do...

do you ever just want to go for a run?

i do...

do you ever just say hi to everyone you know?

i do...

do you ever just want to bath in the sun all day?

i do...

do you ever want to sing as if no one is listening?

i do...

well good

glad im not the only one

day eleven: your siblings

brother 

denver

D- doughnut 

E- elephant 

N- nutela 

V- vulture 

E- entertaining 

R- ruffian

sister

zebbie

Z- zebra or zesty 

E- ecstatic 

B- brave

B- bacon

I- iguana 

E- eggplant 

love them (:

day ten: what you wore today

today i wore..

hair: just straight. 

make up: just mascara 

top: my stripped cardigan which i love

bottoms: my jeggings which i love more than my cardigan 

shoes: my marron boots that don't match anything... whateves

accessories: silver hoop earrings, white zebra watch, and scarf.

yeah there you have it.

i would have included a picture..

but seeing that i played just dance for like two hours with my friends..

i just looked like crap...

so sorry about it.  

day nine: your beliefs

i believe in the church of jesus christ of latter day saints.

day eight: A moment

today was full of moments.

but i just get to share with you one.

and i'd like to share the one that took me by surprise.

so today, my foot swelled up like a balloon. 

in fact it still is all puffed up.

and it bloody hurts. i will not lie.

how this happened you ask....?

well we're in the same boat folks. cause i don't have a clue.

but this isn't really the important part of my moment.

it just brought me there.

so because of my swollen foot. i decided to just go home.. even if grandma wouldn't answer the phone calls or texts. 

as i was walking well more like limping back to my car.

i was taken back by complete surprise.

as tears stung my eyes.

i wanted my mom.

i cried without any real reason to cry 

except that isn't really the case. i had  all the reason to cry. 

i was in awe. 

i was excited for my parents to go out of town.

i was going to be a free woman! 

but here i found myself not wanting anything more then to have my mom tell me i was fine. and give me a hug. 

i love my mom so much (:

and i can't wait for her to get home. 

i miss her. 

day seven: your best friend

i LOVE my best friends (: 

i would not be who i am today without them!

my besties...

Mckinsey Lee

this woman is amazing. she has no idea how much i look up to her. and how much she means to me. i can be myself around her. i can tell her everything. she's seen me cry. and she's seen me laugh so hard that i cry. we go on adventures together ALL the time. she's there for me whenever.. sometimes she'll talk to me on the phone for two hours in the middle of the night and just listen to me cry. and say all our inside jokes to make me laugh.

kinsey i love your face

you are my sister (: 

Annika Elisabeth 

well bless my soul! i love her face! i love when we laugh together! and we pretty much laugh together ALL the time! we love talking about the men (: and we honestly do this for hours.. i recall a few times sitting in my car for like an hour after school just talking (: and it seems we never run out of stuff to talk about.  and i love that we can be total crazies. and not even for a second feel stupid.  hey what can i say we're still kids! (: probably always will be. plus one day we'll be pro at softball.. but that day is not today (: hahaa

annika i love your face 

you are my sister (:

Victoria Jane

okay okay i know it's not your middle name but i'm giving you one (: i love this girl. i love that we can laugh together. and i just have to say. there have been times this girl has saved my butt. she's been there for me at times when i felt like no one else was. and i'm so grateful for her. she is a great example to me. i love it. plus i also love creepily going to purple turtle.. because we know a certain boy will be there (: it's great stuff!! 

Tori i love your face

you are my sister (:

Katie Marie 

child hood best friends. why did you move away from me my dear. i know your only 30 minutes away. but it's just not the same as the 30 seconds away. we have some great memories together my dear. (: fashion shows, plays, poor. you name it. plus i love singing bryan adams and shania twain with you. and don't worry my dear. even though you've become a traitor and moved to orem i still love you with all my heart. and we will have more memories to come (:

katie i love your face

you are my sister (:

Shelby Brynn

shelby is my trial.. hahahaa just kidding i love you her much. i love that we tease each other to no end. i mean what would i do without her? do you know how boring church would be? it would be FOREVER long (: hahahaa i also just love that we've become so close this year (: and i am so excited for our adventures to come (: plus i love that we paint rocks (: and that you write on sullivan quite frequently (: it makes my day (:

shelby i love your face 

you are my sister (:

Kylee Jill 

this girl is great (: she's a great example to me. this picture is so her. she's always smiling. she'd totally beat someone up for me in a heart beat! and i'd just love to say that she's just blossomed (: and i love how kind and caring she is! and i love that we've become close! and i love that she steals brownies (: and she's a sucker for those scary movies (: i love it.. (: and one day we really will catch that butterfly and send her all the way to antartica (:

kylee i love your face

you are my sister (:

there you have it folks my best friends (:

that are more like my sisters (:

day six: your day

today:

well sometimes we get locked out of our house.. hahahaa

we went to church. and so of course we locked our doors.

did i mention we took grandmas car? 

so when we get home we have to open the garage by the little code thingy 

whatever those things are called... 

but our is very temperamental.. it stuggles a lot.. 

and sometimes it decides to freak out and not work. so my dad has to reprogram it.

but guess where dad is? 

out of the country.

shooot 

so then i'm like well i've got a garage opener in my car.

ohh wait we took grandmas car.. 

so mine is locked.

and keys would be in the house.

hahahahaa

it gets better!

so denver and me. 

we're brainstorming ways we could get in the house.

when i get a lightbulb moment. (:

realizing the office window is probably unlocked.. cause dad opens it sometimes..

so we go to investigate..

sure enough it's unlocked.

but it would be to easy to say we opened it and climbed in..

no 

instead we realize the screen is jammed. because whoever put it on last put it on backwards.

but no worries brother and me are smart cookies (:

and we use our resources.

these include a hand rake and sprinkler equipment we found in the yard.

so denver and me we make a pretty good team.

we managed to pry the dang screen off, open the window, and lift up sister into the window. 

and we managed to get in the house. 

hahahahaaa 

PRICELESS 

i love these moments in life