again with the awkward?

i honestly think my middle name could be awkward. breanna awkward hopkins.  yep sounds about right. it's either that, or my life is just one big never ending awkward moment. but you know what. i honestly don't mind. because in a weird way. it makes life interesting. it always provides a story. it never makes things boring! and when you look back, it just feels good to laugh about it. 

those awkward moments when..

• you get told to your face. " did you dye your hair? ohh well i hate when people do that it makes them fake.." umm i think you just called me fake. that's cool.
• you're trying to decide if you should write happy birthday, on the facebook wall of that boy you liked for three years, but now you just think he's really weird... really weird.. 
• you are all disappointed when you didn't drive past that boy you drive past everyday. because he always waves, and it makes you swoon.
• you have frozen fruit in your locker.
•  someone talks trash about something you love, and you just awkwardly stand there.. 
• you talk to yourself, and other cars while driving. ...as if the other cars could hear me...
•  you have to ask your little brother what time it is, because you can't figure out military time to save your life. 
• your hair lady says "you have to stop twisting, and playing with your hair. you are stunting it's growth." i apparently twist and play with my hair subconsciously.. 
•  we make music videos for wuthering heights.. but you love me!!
• you see that nasty couple at school... and you want to vomit.

life is awkward. embrase it. 

mortified?

mor-ti-fy |ˈmôrtəˌfī|

verb ( mortifies, mortifying, mortified ) [ with obj. ]

1 cause (someone) to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated: [ with obj. ] : she was mortified to see her wrinkles in the mirror | (as adj. mortifying) : she refused to accept this mortifying disgrace.

yes this is how i feel. 

and yes there is a story.

i'm at lunch. with my two best friends. mckinsey and tori. and well we were just strolling along, and i happen to notice a boy. we'll call him larry.. i guess.. anyway.. he happens to be standing a ways a way. and i say to kins and tori. "he is sooo cute..." and then things went down hill. the friends informed me that the boy i've been crushing on lately was.. well... standing a foot in front of me. he heard. gave me a weird look. and walked away. let's just say. if he didn't think i was a freak before. he does now. and it was the time i actually wasn't talking about him... cause usually i am... and he knows through the grapevine that i like him.. and now he just thinks i said he was cute almost to his face... great.. 

Awkward

Two things I kinda hate..

1. People who kiss at school. I'm sorry but that's not cute for anybody!
2. When the creep guy that works at hearts hits in me. Not okay pal!

Awkward could be my middle name.

past. and. present.

past:
there used to be this boy i was quite smitten over. he lived across the street from me. and yes he was or i guess is my young woman leaders son. don't worry we came up with a code name so she wouldn't know i was in love with him. it was dartanion. don't ask why. it just was okay. well anyways. dartanion had a girl friend. or still does for all i know. her code name was butterfly. i'm not sure why.. i think it's cause my friend kylee said she looked like one. but that's not really the point. so i had spent a couple months secretly. actually not so secretly swooning over dartanion. and i decided i wanted to take him to morp. but remember my problem? yep butterfly. my friends told me i should ask him anyways. they don't take no for an answer. so i ask him. and obviously the girl friend makes him tell me no. so then i asked this other kid. but that's a another story. anyway. i kinda creepily would watch them from my window across the street. and i saw some pretty sketchy things. and that's where my crush ended. and then he graduated. moved out. and i haven't seen him since. and hadn't put much thought into it.

present:
i had a presidency meeting today. and so i walk across the street to my young woman leaders house. and i get to the door. and they motion me in. (there was a glass door so they could see me..) so i walk in. and there is a boy standing with his back to me. of course i just assumed it was his younger brother. and i almost even said hey _____ (i couldn't think of a code name for the brother.. sorry) then he turns around. and yep it's the old crush. i was taken by surprise.. i'd forgotten how cute he was. and i had butterflies. and i'm pretty sure i blushed as i said an awkward hey! and he totally noticed.. and i think his mom did too. hahaa i couldn't really focus the rest of the meeting. i was too into thought over dartanion... (it didn't help that he walked in the room like twice...)


yeah.. didn't see that one coming..

not very well thought through.

a little help here... i don't know how to talk to boys (especially this boy.. and well that's a problem....)

i'm a teenage girl. sometimes i don't do the smartest things. and my plans aren't always well thought through. and even when they are.. they usually don't turn out how they were supposed to anyway.. is it's almost like a no win situation. i wish life could just be like the movies. but nope. my life is just one big awkward embarrassing moment.

yeah if you haven't caught on. i did something last night. that i thought would be great. i doorbell ditched a pie on my guy friends porch. because well.. lately (the past year) we've been awkward friends. and we can't seem to get passed that. and me in my little mind decide hey this will be fun. and it will make it not be so awkward anymore.

yeah now it's more awkward.

good one bre.

why can't i ever do anything right when i'm around this guy?
i always mess up. say the wrong thing. and he always catches me doing the weirdest things.

awkward

i'm babysitting my cousins right. and a neighbor hood kid comes over to talk to will. and then he notices me playing with eli. he then asks me. "is this your baby?" i answer "umm no he's my cousin" then he says as a mater of fact "ohh that makes sense cause i was wondering how a white person would have a black baby... how do white people have black babies...?" umm what am i supposed to say to this kid?? hahaa so i just told him my cousin was adopted. and then he says "ohh i see like from an orphanage.." yeah sure kid anything to get you to stop asking me awkward questions.. hahaa

and don't even worry this kid would not leave us alone. (will did not like this kid. he told him to stop following us about 50 times... hahaa seeing five year old boys argue is pretty priceless..)

yeah i struggle..

sometimes my friends mock me... (brayden)
because i gag on my ibuprofen... hahaa you try swallowing it with no water..

i swear this kid always catches me at my most awkward moments... hahaa

lalalala whatever. lalalala it doesn't matter (:

just great..

so a cute boy who i haven't talked to in...well...forever... talked to me today.
it was kind of awkward.
knowing we used to be pretty good friends. and now we aren't.
and knowing that i used to swoon over the guy.. hahaa
but hey. it was a nice little chat.
once we got past some of the awkwardness.. and that awkward hand shake... and that awkward hug.. hahaa
and i'm not gonna lie.
i quite enjoyed talking to him.
i might have to talk to him a bit more.. (: just saying.

but here's the deal.
i get home after talking to this boy.
and i look in the mirror.
and i realize my face is totally pealing. and it looks bad.
i'm mortified!!
he probably thinks i have a disease..
great.. just great..

i'm cool like that.

sometimes i by accident.. hit keegan in the hall way.
i also sometimes confuse nate for my mother.

i love awkward moments like this. they make life interesting.. hahaa