missing you.

I've been wanting to have a summer fling since the summer after eighth grade, when I had my first fling ever. But that's not the summer I'd like to tell you about. In fact I try to sharpie out that summer in my poor brain. But the summer I'm talking about is the present. the now. like today. I wouldn't say I've had a fling. But I've fallen for a boy. I couldn't tell you if it's love. Because I'm not really sure what love is. (I'm only 18. I still have a life to figure that out. right?) But I'd like to think it's somewhere close to love. I'd like to think it's young love. Love that's not ready for commitment. But a love that has made us close friends, that keeps us finding our way back to each other. If that makes any sense at all. But here's the part where it all gets complicated. I'm in the process of moving 2 hours away. That leaves us weekends like the past weekend. When we went for a sunday drive. so we could catch up. we talked about life. and we laughed and had fun. And the way he kissed me goodbye made me swoon uncontrollably, it almost made me cry. Because it wasn't for certain when we would be able to see each other again. I'm going to miss him terribly.  I wanted to live in that moment forever. I wanted every night to end that way. But life has a different plan. And the plan is sending me off to logan. And keeping him here for a short couple of months until he leaves on his mission. I'm terrified. So many things can happen in two years. I try not to think about it. But on days like today it seems to consume me. It's hard going a week without seeing him. let alone two years. But i've also come to notice the time that separates us has made the time we are together more special. So maybe there's not a lot to worry about. right? I don't know I'm in a sticky situation. that has no right or wrong answers. and right now. All I can say is, I miss him terribly. And it's only been two days since I've seen him.