my heart is broken. but not in a way it's been broke before. i'm not even really sure i can explain it. but i'm going to try. because i need to vent about it. i can't let it weigh down on me anymore. i broke one of my best friends hearts. and in the process of breaking his. mine was broken. (not that i have a right to even be sad about this.. after all it is my fault..) it could have been those small things you said to me that caused me to choke on tears, wondering why? why on earth you'd say that. after all we'd been through. or it could have been the fact that when i saw you at school for the first time since we'd ended things, that i still got that giddy flip flop feeling when i saw you. only to have it wrenched from me, like a bully stealing candy from a small toddler. because i realized, you didn't want to talk to me.. i thank you for being polite and at least saying hi to me. and showing me your awful sunburn. i am so grateful for that small tender mercy you gave me. maybe it's just killing me, because i thought i was okay. but in all reality.. i'm not.. i've been an emotional wreck today. crying on and off. realizing i've lost one of my very best friends. and knowing it's my fault.
I know what your going through sweetheart. And it's probably the worst feeling in the world. When you wanna blame everything on him because your so hurt and so heartbroken but you know deep down inside it's your fault more so than is it his. Ah. I'm so sorry babe. I know how low it can get ya and I wish that on no body.
ReplyDeleteI'm here for ya if you need me.
Lets have a girls night ant talk about it!