jealous..?

jealous is a feeling i feel a lot. i'm constantly comparing myself to others.

i want so badly to be vibrant, outgoing, different, and fun.

but sometimes i feel invisible. and people talk for me. and i'm just another face in the crowd.

i want just for once to stand out. and have the spot light on me.

i wish i wasn't scared to speak out. and make new friends.

i wish i knew how to talk to boys, instead of freaking out and stumbling over what to say every time i try.

sometimes it would be nice if i wasn't always that awkward third wheel.

i want to be one of those people who is friends with everyone. but it's hard when no one knows who i am.

it's weird to think that i know who so many people are, but they don't know me.

i don't like this jealousy. it puts a damper on my days.

if i ask nicely will it go away?

my answer is as good as yours... i have no idea.

so i guess i'll keep pushing through and hopefully one day.. it'll slowly subside.

and i'll find who i really am.

is this to much to ask?