dear boy.

i wanted things to work out more than you could ever imagine. i was happy and content with you. even though things were never what you'd say "official". but when things didn't work out, it felt completely different how it ended, than it had when you'd broke up with me so long ago before. and everyone around me thinks that things didn't work out because that's just how you are. but i don't necessarily agree. in fact i don't agree at all. because it did feel different.  i really believe that it didn't work out for good reasons. like you said, you have a mission to prepare for. and i wouldn't dream of holding you back from your duty to the lord. and i am moving away in a matter of weeks.. or possibly even days. and i'll be meeting new people. we are both going to grow and change immensely.   don't get me wrong , it's still going to take sometime, in fact a lot of time, to get over you. and it's easier said than done trying my best to not be jealous when you talk to and date other girls. but i promise i'm working really hard on it. you also said we'd still be friends. i really think you meant that. even if we haven't talked in what seems like ages. but i'm holding to the fact that you did say we would still be friends. so i'm might take that liberty and write to you on your mission. hopefully you don't think that's weird or awkward. because i really want to. and maybe, i am a little curious to see what might happen after your mission. until then i'm not holding grudges, by staying hurt and mad. i'm going to consider you a good friend. and just leave it at that. 

for now. 

lately i've found that i wish i could write something beautiful.
but nothing comes to mind.

things.

snow cones. captain america. carnival. quilting. the lucky one. grandma's house. shooting range. creeps with fish. matilda. running. lord of the rings. nail painting. boys? rodeo. friends. 

i. love. summer.

impatient? yes.. i think so.

i have an itch, and it wont go away. 

i want to see this so bad. even if anne hathaway is in it. 

i'm looking past the fact that she is the princess of ginovea..

maybe one day i'll write a legit post..

but that would mean effort.

and talking about things i'm not so sure i'm ready to talk about. 

so until then,

your stuck with lame posts. 

sorry about it.

laugh with me. please.

this. made me giggle uncontrollably. i'm still giggling. and it's been days since i first watched. 

thanks mckinnah for telling me about this.

reality check.

i spent ten days in paradise. also known as lake powell.

however, against my will.

i was forced to return to reality.

also known  as pleasant grove.

and what was there to find in pg when i returned?

a total reality check.

life was no longer, waking up to the sound of a boat, or teenage boys having a war with spoons and coco puffs. i found that my days were no longer full of playing in the water, then basking in the sunlight until my skin became like a stove top, so i could return for more fun in the water. it was no longer having random dance parties, or eating food until i felt like a carp at rainbow bridge. it was no longer life in lake powell. 

what reality hit me with when i returned is no where near as pleasant.

in fact. 

it wasn't even pleasant.

i found that..

people can be immature, and hurtful.

when i have service.. about as many people text me as when i don't have service. hope you get that that means no one.

i find that i get so bored wandering around looking for something to do. so i cook. i hate cooking.

plus it's not good for my goal of being healthy. because cake bites are no where near healthy.

i blog. read blogs. start new blogs. 

pinterest. let's face it. that website is a vortex.

facebook. 

i need a summer hobby. 

pronto.

for a while there, i wasn't wanting to move to logan. but after this reality check. i can't wait to move and have a new adventure. and meet new people. 

 good thing i'm going to  logan tomorrow. 

even if ragnar is going to kill me.

neglect.

the blog has been neglected. that can only mean one thing. it's summer (: