this lovely lady tagged me.. soo here goes nothing.


Last beverage = chocolate milk. because plain milk is very yucky 
Last text message = the best friend. mckinsey
Last song you listened to =  take it all- adele 
Lost someone special = yes, it's a part of life i guess 
Been depressed = it's in my past. i now believe in being happy. (: 

 LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
construction cone orange, bear lake electric blue, and rain coat yellow

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
Fallen out of love= not love, just "like"
Laughed until you cried = you haven't lived if you've never laughed so hard you cried.
Met someone who changed you = obviously! is this a real question?

GENERAL:
How many kids do you want to have =  2 at the most
What were you doing at midnight last night =  writing in my journal 
Name something you CANNOT wait for= when i finally meet my prince charming 
What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = it would be nice if i was more outgoing 
What are you listening to right now= denver and zebbie watch popeye the sailor man
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yep, my utah history teacher was mr. tom, but we just called him tom.
What's getting on your nerves right now = that i'm always the awkward third wheel  
Relationship Status = single. but i don't really mind.
He or She? =I am a She & I like He’s.
Do you have a crush on someone? = yes (: but he doesn't even know me.. i'm still working on that.
What do you like about yourself? = my hair. my height. 

RIGHT NOW:
Eating = nothing. i just ate dinner and i'm stuffed
Drinking = nothing
I'm about to = go workout. 30 day shred baby!
Feeling= headache. tired. but yet in a good mood.

YOUR FUTURE :
Want kids = most of the time
Get Married = in the logan temple
Career = national geographic photographer (:

WHICH IS BETTER :
Lips or eyes = depends 
Hugs or kisses = kisses 
Shorter or taller = Taller.
Older or Younger = Older.
Nice stomach or nice arms= It's all about those abs..

HAVE YOU EVER :
Broken someone's heart = i sure hope not, but i might have.. 
Had your own heart broken = unfortunately i have.
Turned someone down = yes. my efy counselor told me too.. it's not my fault!!
Cried when someone died = of course. i'm a ball baby. 
Fallen for a friend = mmhmm. been there. done that. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
Yourself = most of the time.
Miracles = of course.
Love at first sight = most definitely 
Heaven = yes. yes i do.
Santa Claus = well.. not really.. i like thanksgiving.. 
Kiss on the first date = depends on who with. 
Angels = yes! (have you hugged an angle today?)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
Did you sing today? = Yes, i always sing very load and obnoxious to the radio. ask my carpool 
If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = i'd go back to that night and go visit you. cause apparently it would have made a difference. 
If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?= spontaneous night. (: 
Are you afraid of falling in love?= sometimes i'm scared of getting hurt. but then i realize i can't go living my life saying what if? and i live in the moment. (:
Do you like your life?= of course (: i love my family. i love my friends. and i love my life. it's that simple. 


now you go (: 
carrie, kinsey, linds

blustery

it's a blustery day. who wants to go get hot chocolate? and watch a movie? it'll be so fun! (:

you bloomin' idiot!!

we ask people to dances. we have some complications. it's okay (:

it all started out at the olive garden with my best friend and her parents. (i'm their second daughter, it's okay) and we decide to ask some gentleman to preference. so we brainstorm all dinner trying to figure out how to ask, because we live in utah, and we have to ask some creative way. finally we came to an answer thanks to kylee. 

the saying: Don't be a bloomin' idiot! will you go to preference with me? 

delivered with: flowers with rolls of paper on the steams one with our name on it.. the others saying stuff like

- nope

- keep going

- isn't this fun

- warmer

-warmest

- cold

-frigid 

- idiot 

 (you get the picture)

 

the next part of the story is when things get a little complicated. the asking. and let's be real every time you ask someone to a dance something goes wrong. it's a given! 

so starting at the first gentlemans house, kins and i had an argument on which house was his. ( i was right.. just saying..) so tori and i get out, and slowly walk up to his porch, i lay the stuff on his porch as tori dings the door bell. then we take off running. we both literally dived into kinsey's car! as tori yells "my phone!!!!!" and kins hits the gas and we book it out of there! we get to safety and we realize tori's phone is still laying outside of this boys house. so many emotions flew during these moments 

- kinsey: on the verge of tears, she thought for sure she had run the thing over in our great escape, or that the car now pulling out of his driveway was to hit it if she already hadn't. 

-tori: just repeating to herself "i'm an idiot!" "it's okay, i'm not worried about it.." "i'm an idiot!" 

- then there is me: i'm in the back seat. laughing so hard i'm almost throwing up! 

don't worry we rescued the phone, and it was not run over! 

then onto gentleman number two, once again tori and i exit kinsey's car, and walk up to his porch. i rang the bell this time. and we took off running. don't worry i almost face planted it. and looking back on it. if i hadn't caught my balance, i could more than likely have a busted nose, and missing teeth. this is no exaggeration. other than that.. nothing to epic happened at gentleman number two's house. 

and last but not least, gentleman the third. we get to his house, and well, tori and i decide, shoes off this time. or we really might face plant it. so we get all situated, and get out of the car. we take about two steps, and then at the same time kinsey (who is still in the car) and i see the person threw the window at the same time. the next few minutes consisted of screaming, jumping back in the car. and speeding out of there. don't worry we returned and took care of business, tori and i ran like mad woman down his semi sloped driveway. i literally dove into kinsey's car.. hahaa 

i would pay big money to have watched our faces on this lovely night! 

i haven't laughed so hard in a long time. 

my tummy still aches from the laughter, it's not a big deal. (:

thanks kins and tori. 

i needed that in my life (:      

random memory

so this boy.. that i'm in "like" with.. has been to my house in past adventures. i recently remembered this. awkward..

the week from not a happy place.

this has been the week. 

the week where i put on everything in my closet, but nothing looks good, and it all feels funny. 

the week when i feel alone in a crowd of my friends. 

the week where i can't fall asleep at night. 

the week where i look in the mirror, and i'm not happy with what i see. 

the week when everyone and their dog blows me off. 

wanna know something? 

i HATE feeling like this. 

hopefully next week is the week where i put something on and feel pretty and confident.

the week when i feel like a part of the group, instead of just like i'm tagging along.

the week where i sleep like a baby. 

the week where i look in the mirror, and i'm not criticizing my body, hair, and whatever else a girl can find to criticize.

the week where friends actually follow through and don't leave me with nothing to do but clean my room.

that would be really nice.

  

Thanks for nothing

Thanks for waking me up.
And then telling me multiple things I didn't want to hear.
You made my decision really easy though, when you wanted to know if I still like ''what's his face'' as you called him I told you it was complicated. And you finally got it out of me why it was complicated.The conversation that followed is where it became easy. Because it made me realize that I do like ''what's his face'' still. And maybe one day you'll realize that you missed your chance. But I feel like lately I've given you nothing but chances. And you won't take them. So maybe that's an answer in itself that you are just a player. And I'm only cool, fun, and Pretty when you want me to be. I hate to admit that I wish it would have been different. But it's not. So I can move on, and keep day dreaming about a boy who doesn't even know my name.
Once again thanks for waking me up.
Because now two hours later I still can't fall asleep.
To much to think about. Back pains. And I can't get comfortable.

thoughts

sometimes i wonder why bad things happen to good people. it's not really fair. but i have to keep telling my self life isn't fair. and it's all a part of my heavenly fathers plan. and i have to keep faith that everything will be okay. i'm going to pray for you good people. because it seems only fair for me to help you when you've helped me.